Hollywood Mom Blog

Counselors Corner: Handling Audition Anxiety and Rejection

Posted on 10. Jul, 2010 by Editor Tracy Bobbitt.

Dear Jody and Cindy,

How can I teach my child to survive auditions, especially when he she doesn’t get the part?

You get the call. Your agent says “She’s perfect for it,” or “He is exactly what they are looking for.”  You and your child both begin to fantasize that this is the call you’ve been waiting for.  This is the BIG BREAK! As your daughter or son prepares for their audition, their worries also begin.  You may hear things such as:

• “I wonder who else will be there auditioning,”
• “I wonder what other shows have they’ve been on?”
• “Is someone else at this casting call better for the part?”
• “Will I remember all my lines?”
• “WHAT IF I DON’T GET THE PART?”

Your child can become self conscious and begin to doubt herself as her anxiety increases.  As parents we never want to see our children unhappy. When they are sad, we are sad.  When they hurt, we also hurt.  It is our job as parents to recognize and contain our own personal thoughts and reactions, so that we don’t project our issues and fears on to our children.  It’s important to validate your childs’ courage by reassuring him or her that they are brave by taking risks and stretching beyond their comfort level.

Help your son or daughter understand that they may not get chosen and not because they didn’t perform well, but because they didn’t fit the part for which they were auditioning.  Assure them that it is not personal and that they may have to go on many auditions before they get “that part.”

Keep in mind, if your son or daughter doesn’t get the part, now isn’t the time for “constructive criticism.”  Instead, try the following;

• Acknowledge their feelings
• Support the process: offer classes to enhance their skills and self-confidence
• Stay real: don’t give them false hope and teach them that it takes perseverance to achieve their goals.
• Understanding that disappointments pass and things will get better and more opportunities will come their way
• · Resilience: teach kids the importance of bouncing back quickly

Most importantly, encourage them to stay on their path. Remember that you are enough and that the love you give and the belief you have in your kid is what it takes.  Now go and take her out to the movies. Enjoy!

Hollywood Mom Blog Contributors Jody Frank and Cindy Busto are Licensed Clinical Social Workers, and the directors of West Coast Counseling Center. To contact the center, please call 310-475-0223 ext.2#/3#, or visit their web site at www. wcccla.com

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Counselors Corner: Do Child & Teen Actors Abuse Drugs & Alcohol More Often Than Other Kids?

Posted on 24. May, 2010 by Editor Tracy Bobbitt.

Dear Jody and Cindy,

Are child actors more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol than the general public or do we just hear about them more because they are famous?

Dad of 2, Sherman Oaks, CA

Child actors tend to be exposed earlier to drugs and alcohol due to the abundance and accessibility of substances in the Industry. They experience pressures unique to the business such as constant rejection, jealousy, feelings of not being good enough, excessive amounts of money and scrutiny of their appearance, emotional instability and failure; obsessive thinking, and strained personal relationships.

By being a part of a fast-paced lifestyle there may be a loss of innocence which can be replaced by a persona of maturity. Children often miss positive age-appropriate experiences. A belief begins to develop in the child and sometimes in the adults around them that they are capable of making decisions or choices beyond their years.

Due to these stressors, it is more likely for a young actor to abuse drugs, alcohol, and sex, and participate in other impulsive and dangerous behaviors.

Parents, pay attention to any emotional or behavioral changes that seem out of the norm. Remember, these changes may progress slowly over time or quickly and abruptly.

Look for the following signs:

• Agitation or depression
• Impulsivity or reactivity
• Anger or irritability
• Anxiety or manic like behavior
• Sleeping a lot
• Staying up all night
• Mood swings
• Closed off, lying, secrets
• Change of friends
• Grades go down
• Distancing from family

If you begin to see changes that concern you, seek out professional help before it gets out of control.

Contributors Jody Frank and Cindy Busto are Licensed Clinical Social Workers, and the directors of West Coast Counseling Center. To contact the center, please call 310-475-0223 ext.2#/3#, or visit their web site at www. wcccla.com

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Counselors Corner: The Top 10 Signs of Eating Disorders in Kids & Teens

Posted on 14. May, 2010 by Editor Tracy Bobbitt.

Dear Jody & Cindy,

Why are eating disorders so rampant in the entertainment industry? Does this only affect girls?

Concerned Mom

There are several reasons eating disorders are prevalent in the entertainment industry and while more common for girls, boys can also suffer from this disorder:

• Competition: The pressure to be “skinny enough,” “pretty enough” and “perfect.”
• Exposure: Movies, TV, magazines, models and other actors are seen as having the ideal bodies. The message is do whatever it takes to get the part.
• Distorted Body Image: Kids often have a distorted perception of how their bodies look and the belief that something is wrong with them.

Unfortunately, this perception is often validated by expectations of the business team and studios

• Identity: Actors often define themselves by what they do, who they know and what parts they get or don’t get.  Both girls and boys can be equally impacted by the stress, disappointment and rejection they encounter. This can lead to feelings of fear, shame and worthlessness.

As parents we want to be watchful for signs of compulsive overeating, bulimia and anorexia. Examples of this could be:

1)     Consistently going to the bathroom immediately after eating (purging/bulimia)

2)     Intense dieting; restricting food; use of diuretics (anorexia)

3)     Binges with or without purging (compulsive eating)

4)     Significant weight loss or gain (anorexia, compulsive overeating)

5)     Excessive exercise 2 or more times a day or over 2 hrs a day (exercise addiction)

6)     Bathroom pipes clogging up on a regular basis (purging)

7)     Obsession with the scale and their weight (anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive overeating)

8)     Obsession with the mirror and their body (anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating)

9)     Hides and hoards food (Bulimia and overeating)

10)  Superficial cutting, shoplifting and lying may also be a part of an eating disorder

If you are worried or begin to suspect your child may have a problem it is time to seek professional help.

Contributors: Jody Frank & Cindy Busto are Licensed Clinical Social Workers and the directors of WCCCLA.

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